The proof is in the pudding? Ahhh maybe not!

I can't help but wonder why we feel the need to constantly create and use sayings in conjunction with day to day events. Such as "Don't put all your eggs in the same basket" or "Every cloud has a silver lining". Why not just say what should be said in it's literal sense...Like you fucked up and made a mistake, deal with it perhaps if your lucky enough something else will come up? Maybe the people that are writing all of these symbolic philosophical sayings slipped down the optimism tree & hit every branch of self righteousness on the way down? Perhaps that's too harsh. To be or not to be that is the question..I had this friend, a Spanish friend who once told me a saying close to the translation of "It's much better to have one bird held in your hand, than 100 birds in the sky in front of you out of reach" now this kind of saying is one i can relate to and really like, especially when it’s said in the fluent sexy Spanish accent. Clearly having one opportunity, goal or achievement in your grasp is much better than boasting about a hundred possibilities that lay ahead without any certainty...but If you’re lucky enough to catch a friggen bird in the first place what do you do then? What if the bird you catch turns out to be a chicken? Do you keep all it's eggs in the same basket, or does it turn out to be a cross-dressing rooster who doesnt lay eggs at all? Perhaps these sayings by whomever they were created by can be put to use in some point in time in each of our lives and offer a certain degree of comfort...statements of fact or wishfull thinking? You be the judge.

Adios!

Jane Says: F U & F U 2

Ever noticed how some of your friends whom appear normal in person have developed the tendency to flip out and do a complete 180 on their Facebook status's with the likes of “I LOVE JUSTIN BIEBERS NEW SONG!!” or effing & blinding left right & centre??? Well then it’s highly likely that your dear friend (Hypothetically I’m going to call your friend Jane) is part of the heavily contagious condition affecting hundreds of thousands of users of online social web sites and media applications. A condition I’ve named as Facebook Tourettes. See, Jane, your mate is usually a very conservative level headed person whom you feel you can confide in...about anything. She holds a stable 9-5 job is married and has a wonderful house where she regularly hosts dinners and back yard get-togethers. Yet for some reason at coffee (you met for coffee recently) she neglected to tell you her feelings towards the repositioning of the marshmallows at your local shopping centre. That’s right, instead of ironing out the distress this change has put on her immediate life with you (as you would her) face to face...she "shelves" the idea...for now. It's only half an hour later that you realise the preposterous statement has you questioning Jane’s upstanding reputation and general state of mind. Poor Jane, she doesn’t know she suffers from it, that’s where the condition gets tricky…easy to diagnose hard to cure. Maybe we all have a bit of Jane in us, I'd be lying if I said I've never used Facebook or Twitter as an outlet for expressing something potentially damaging to my own reputation but thankfully the advertisement of my personal emotions was short lived experiment…so next time you go to state something to the world (well at least the 524 friends that exist in your world) stop and think back to this…because you may be at risk of FACEBOOK TOURETTING!

I'm just sayin.